forgodssake | ic inbox } ataraxion.

I've been thinking of it (influence, what's rooted in Felix, his connection to the soldier) in terms of contamination until better analogies present themselves
but strike that if it doesn't jive with your understanding and why you asked

I guess where I'm confused at the moment is about the soldier's connection to Felix. If you can explain to me your understanding of how that came about/works I think that would help.

cursory observation would connect together his entering into that non-space you described
if you're not feeling the same effect, then perhaps also the time they have spent together
thus, exposure
I'm not sure otherwise

I don't feel any connection to Laurens that I'm aware of. Whatever is going on with them is probably either all the time they've apparently spent together or something unique to the soldier. Or both?

What does this connection between them do? How does it manifest?

going off what he told me:
- shared physical pain, on occasion
- waking up and confusion between identities
- nosebleeds/ear bleeds

and that last one I mention because I experienced the same after observing Laurens' mind
he is also far too dismissive of the significance of all this for my liking

the soldier does have a peculiar sort of brain, which could well be a factor

What the fuck.

Yeah, definitely none of that is happening to me.

Have you looked into the soldier's mind since this started?

no
but I can broach the subject

It seems like it might be a good idea to at least see if the same "crevices"? you detected in Laurens' mind that prompted you to look deeper are found in his.

[ ugh ]

and what happens next, if I find that?
beyond being an interesting talking point

the man already has a mind like a bear trap

Then you check me, and then someone else from recon who hasn't had any contact with Laurens, and we figure out what the exposure is.

Beyond that I don't know yet.

yes
alright
so glad we had this conversation

I don't know, I think I feel better now that I know there's a better than average chance I have something buried in my mind watching and controlling me.

Edited 2015-04-17 08:01 (UTC)

promise me something though

What?

punch me if I appear to be in distress during examination

I can definitely promise that. Do you have a preferred location?

just find it in you not to break anything

Wow, what's in it for me, then?

I won't tell anyone you senselessly assaulted me when they ask waht's wrong with my face

Face? The best way to avoid breaking anything would be to go for soft tissue. I've also found it's very effective in redirecting attention.

I'm really genuinely glad that Laurens does not agree

Maybe the hivemind prevented him. Still glad?

Not to re-ruin the mood but two thoughts: first, my guess is that all the voices you heard are the former crew/passengers somehow assimilated into...whatever. AI, the ship itself, something.

Second, we need to decide how much of this information should be shared. I'm not in favor of keeping Laurens' presence itself a secret any longer than we have already but I don't know about the rest.

my guess also. which presents implication as to what happened to them and why the tranquility garners such suspicion from others in this universe.
I had an interesting conversation with "Eszter" (the would be interlopers) that talked a little about the things that have happened that implicated the tranquility. for instance, the people from the Cyllene were found to be disconnected from the current plane of reality. like ghosts might be, I imagine, and we have our own fair share of haunting type events. the people of the Strela outpost suffered what they are terming "inertia", which sounds like a sort of catatonic state. (they were suspiciously quiet on the topic of Arima.)

all of these next to one another present similar themes of being disconnected in space and time, of psychic disconnected from physical form, of effect on masses of people at once, and like you say, of assimilation. and death, too. perhaps involving some in between state of living and dead.

with Felix in particular, I can't help but wonder if a deal was struck. we ourselves are continually presented with choices: do xyz, or die.

as for your second point: we can't keep him trapped forever and neither of us want him dead, particularly. if he's going to be set free, then people will need to know regardless. did you have something in mind?
he's currently in medical quarantine, under Dr Gallo's watch.

Shepard believed it (everything, basically) was a rogue AI. It doesn't not make sense.

I don't know much of anything about the Cyllene, but what I've heard about Strela is that it already featured some sort of hivemind/assimilation situation when we arrived.

But I agree, the disruption/disconnect in space and time seems to be a pattern and one that makes sense given that the jumps are apparently uncontrolled and are literally pulling each of us here from across space and time. Smiley had described Laurens to me as "stuck" and he seemed to be somehow literally in between floors here. I suspect that in his case we're dealing less with in between living and dead and something more like in between universes/realities? But Smiley did also say that Laurens was different, from "him"self, from Charlotte, from us.

The soldier had a conversation with Charlotte in which she talked about being "sent back" and the idea that we had somehow brought her here. I don't think that just meant sent back to the crew quarters, I think given the absence of the entire rest of the crew we may have taken her somehow across dimensions or times. Some of the ghost-like phenomena we've experienced, even the less-personalized paintings, the pockets of effects, might be the result of realities overlapping. Maybe the corridors shift each jump because each jump it's a different universe's version of the ship in that space.

I don't know what any of this really tells us.

Since we're having this conversation about all of these things I've decided I'm just going to tell you: your fingerprints were found in the nanite management control room, on the vial of corrupted nanites that poisoned us all whichever jump that was. I don't believe that you did that consciously or on purpose or maybe even at all, but we've yet to figure out an explanation. It may be another example of mind control? Another version of you on another TQ? Mystique mind controlled and in your form? I don't know. I'm just dropping it into this giant pile of weird shit we're fumbling through.

I'd like to put a tracker on Laurens like a house arrest ankle bracelet sort of deal, but I don't know how effective it would be and if he would allow it. Besides that my instinct would just be to announce his presence and leave it at that.

My real question is whether we tell people what you found in his head.

[ This one takes a delay, however many minutes needed to read, absorb, freak out a little, and write. ]

if Shepard came from a world where AIs or rogue AIs were possible, she may have that perception bias, and if there is anything I have learned about studying this place, it is to discard what you expect to know. if 'it' is a rogue AI, I can't see how it would only be that, thus making that conclusion somewhat tenuous. I have heard theory that we are dealing with something more demonic, and that makes as much sense to me as anything else.

but I'll grant you, she got a closer look than most of us. my question would be, what does that imply?

it's the story of the Cyllene that captured my attention/sounded familiar to me. Charlotte was also called a "mistake" by the smiley entity. as if she was never meant to exist in our plane of reality/time. I think what else is telling is that unlike Felix, telepaths here cannot read her mind. the same is true of the 'ghosts' we see on occasion. of monsters and other phenomena, I can usually at least get an empathic sense of their existing.

I have a proposal as to Felix: Dr Gallo can utilise her magic to track him, whether he allows it or not. as he is not in total control of himself, I don't feel a need to garner his cooperation.

as much as I would argue for his privacy, I think knowing he is potentially being controlled by something is imperative information. I'm torn as to whether an amount of detail and specificity is necessary: it could serve as a warning and advise to steer psychically clear of it, and god knows people will ask. on the flipside, people don't like being told 'no' and it may attract unwanted curiousity. what happened to me was dangerous, and could have been dangerous for others.

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my icons are taking too long to load sorry

wow fine

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1/2.