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CHARLES XAVIER

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[ Hardness is met with temporary silence. Debating whether to just end the conversation swiftly, like one would put something out of its misery.

It is a testament to knowing her that he doesn't. ]

Why?

To keep an eye on him. To find answers and make a difference.

[ Ugh. ]

I don't suppose I could convince you to stay.

Why do you want to?

He doesn't deserve you.

[ And a myriad of other reasons, some less rational than others, but that seems the most basic way to put it that Charles can see. ]

[ she can't tell what he means, can't make sense of the answer and again, she finds herself wishing she'd chosen to have this conversation face-to-face.

hindsight and all that. ]

What about the others going with him? Do they?

[ He's being lazy, himself, her agitation for a lack of telepathic access matching his languishing in its absence. There's a dry laugh. He doesn't answer. Who does? ]

Who all is going.

[ everyone does. if she can make a difference, she should. that's what it boils down to, for her. ]

Claire Bennet, Lily Potter, Natasi, Johanna.

Johanna Mason.

[ oh my god why ]

Yes. Why?

She's human.

[ --of everyone, he's the one he's sure he knows that of, and that fact alone is enough to warrant pause. (Even if it isn't that fact alone.) ]

[ and erik is sleeping with her. there's a certain irony to that, isn't there? ]

I know.

She'll die first.

[ He isn't being serious. Sort of. It's a very bleak humour. ]

Not if I can help it.

[ that isn't funny, charles. ]

[ No, it's not. There's another silence, as if he is mentally backspacing every childish, snippy retort that just comes so naturally to him, lately. ]

I don't trust him.

You might think you and he want the same thing, or that you think you can mitigate him, but it'll turn out not to be true, and telepathy doesn't help. He hurts people close to him. He can love people at the same time and still hurt them if he thinks it's right. As for humans--

You should listen, some time, to the way he thinks about them. The way he looks at them.

[ it's her turn to be silent while working through his words. ] I know. [ is the most immediate reaction. she knows erik can care and hurt the people he cares about anyway-- he'd done it to her to drive some a point, deliberately cruel. ]

I also know that he and I disagree on a lot of things. Maybe it won't be true, maybe I can't mitigate his more extreme tendencies, but I have to try.

[ another silence, and then there's steel underlying her tone again: ] It's my choice, Charles.

Right.

[ Right. It's hard to not take it personally. He certainly sounds like he is. ]

As your own personal cautionary tale, I do hope you find what you're looking for.

[ it isn't personal, is the thing. it's her being herself, and it isn't a reflection on him. ]

Thank you.

[ And yet.

He ends the call. It's very prissy, even if it is at least in part a way to avoid losing his temper properly. He will deeply regret it, if this is how they part by the time she's leaving, but that's what he gets!! ]

[ for god's sake, charles.

she doesn't call back. ]

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