forgodssake | ic inbox } ataraxion.

what happened?

He just--

--I just wanted to talk to him. He said he didn't want to talk to me, then started asking questions, then proceed to say a lot of shit about how he didn't give a fuck about me.

I could show you. Might be easier.

...I've been here two damn years, Charles. And he can still cut me down like it was yesterday.

[Alex wants to be stronger than all of that. But Erik and Charles saved him. Gave him his life back. It was what they taught him (both of what to do, and what not to do (in Erik's case)), that helped him become who he is today.

Which is why Erik's words hurt so much.]

[ There is a delay, a s i g h, laying belly up in his room. The subject of Magneto isn't proving an easy mystery to crack.

But soon-- ]

he is afraid Alex. which he may never know is no excuse but all the same, he feels the confines of this place. he is also not the man we all thought he was. in many ways, it was still yesterday. i will see whatever you wish to show me.

So that makes it okay for him to treat me like that?

I thought he was the adult.

I just--

--what's the point. I'm sure you can imagine what he said to me anyways.

an explanation is not an excuse. would you prefer to think he doesn't care about you at all ?

Your explanation didn't say anything about him caring about me, Charles.

It just explained why he's acting like an ass.

Not that he ever cared. Because he hasn't shown one linking that he does.

my explanation was that he is afraid ergo it may not have been personal or about whether or not he cares about you. I can't apologise for him, but i'm sorry you are hurt. did you wish me to talk to him/?

I shouldn't be.

I mean, why should I care what he thinks, right?

[AKA he cares.]

I don't know.

If you do--just know I hit him with a concussive blast right before I left.

really? well done Alex, that is extraordinary control.

[ It would be bad timing, then, to bid others to give Erik a chance when Charles is really only giving him a chance under duress, and an unshakeable faith that can only be accessed through telepathy--

--but he has gold stars to spare. He is aware that Erik is not currently in pieces or on fire, at least. ]

[He might smile a little at that.]

I've been working hard, at control. A--a friend made me wrist braces, like the one I used to have on my chest. They help focus it.

I gave Erik only enough to give a headache. I wasn't looking to hurt him.

[Just to prove a point--that he wasn't a child, and he could control himself.

It also got Erik to stop talking for enough time for Alex to leave.]

i believe they would call that karmic retribution for being such a damned headache himself.

[ He is the greatest of friends. ]

Yeah, I guess when you put it that way.

I just--

--I had hoped when you guys showed up, things might end up easier.

That was probably stupid to think. I am happy you're here though.

it isn't stupid Alex. a little doomed I would say. Erik and i both have something in common. we have arrived here with more people who know about who we are than we can completely keep track of and with knowledge comes expectations. we cannot always live up to them. we cannot always want to. and we cannot make anything easier just yet. I do not expect you to forgive Erik for his being combative but I do expect a measure of leniency with regard to expectation. gosh this is a cumbersome way to communicate anything. I hope i am making sense to you.

I know that.

I'm trying--I'm trying not to put that on you both.

And you are. I mean--we could go to video.

ic inbox } ataraxion.

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